Photo by Andrew Crowe. All Rights Reserved 2012

“You’re nicked sunshine!” – QC [me!!] kicks ass in the Lambeth County Court.

I laughed and watched as ashen faced neo promoters FEEDME MUSIC left Lambeth County Court on January 16th 2012.

Shocked, out of pocket and with their tails firmly up their bjewelled asses they slunk out into the barmy air of SE11 following a lambasting from the beak.

During the 60 minute court hearing, the judge confirmed that the FMM performers contract is officially unfair under Sections 3 (2)(b)(ii) and 11 of the Unfair Contract Terms Act 1977.

Now read the full story!

14.00 hrs

Darren Groanfool and Kay Leavage, aka Directors of FMM had seemed overawed and out of their depth as they twitched nervously pre-court.

The court clerk emerged from the courtroom to call the defendants. After a slight pause, he swiftly strolled past the mumbling/oblivious FMM into the lobby.

Continuing to call the dynamic duo to book, it dawned on FMM that they’d better do something.

My team had already been recognised of course, 2 Equity Representatives, my manager and moi….(clad in a black jump suit, Matrix-esque black coat and big hair complete with fluffy white muffs).

We headed into the courtroom and took our seats = Style.

Hapless – FMM scuttled after the clerk, ready, piercings a jangling, to doff their bleached forelocks and fawn before the hurried ex-public schoolboy, finally stuttering: “..ip ep ip ep…er….duuuuuuuuh…it’s us mister….mister? ….it’s us, FMM…the contract control freaks who promise:

to give ‘young fledgling bands’ the fiscal mugging of a lifetime.

a guarantee that you’ll pay to play,

a dead cert you’ll pay if you cancel,

and you won’t play as long as we promote for PUNK, the rich Soho poseurs in whose pockets we reside,

who can decide to cancel our night [at your expense naturally] in favour of a lucrative corporate do.

Clearly their recent charisma bypasses were working perfectly .

Dazed and confused by their journey from FMM HQ [aka 'Ripoff Central - We're here to fleece your ambitious asses'], they FINALLY realised that their bullshit was over.

FMM shuffled in to the court and sheepishly asked for permission to take their seats.

After some confusion as to which of the 2 seats offered to occupy, they sat down and got ready to tune in.

Heads down and sporting tired overgrown yellow spiky barnets, they now knew to expect the worst.

14:10hrs

The beak informed the court that he’d scanned the documents pre-trial and asked me [QC] to make my case.

Evidently, one set of papers made sense, the other roll of recycled bog paper from FMM was nonsense.

The claimant’s, me [QC], case was well prepared, intelligent, coherent, logical and downright right for gawds sake.

Needless to say, this contrasted sharply with the barely comprehensible grunts and fumblings of FMM who once again seemed overwhelmed and twitchy.

Therefore the judge had no hesitation in summing up with:

”……QC had spent considerable time and money on PR-ing the event , putting the required effort as advised “100% effort into promoting…”

By the time FMM had unilaterally cancelled the contract , 43 sales had been made and another 73 people had said that they were coming…..

….the Contract is unfairly weighted in favour of the defendant…. [cue FMM gibbering and incandescent with shame]…In my view, the contract is unfair and not binding….”

FMM, heads in hands, were stung for QC ticket sales, travel, court fees and given 14 days to pay.

= Well and truely nicked!

15:10 hrs

As for me [QC], after the hearing I rushed to a nearby phone box in which I changed into full costume and became QC[me].

I took my twinkling disco outfit and spandexed ass back to the court steps. Here I proceded to quaff a whole bottle of Bollinger whilst being papped up to the max.

Then we all went for more bubbly, oysters and sushi at the St. Pancras Hotel before travelling first class on the last train back home.

Worried that FMM, the 2007 Indie Promoter of the Year, can’t afford to cough up?

Fear not!, they’ll have mugged plenty of pop wannabeindieblandgullibles by then.

And have money in the bank.

In summary, this ain’t just about unfair backstreet promoters, but the bands themselves who seemingly prefer to sit back and let themselves get shafted.

FMM contract is officially unfair…that’s now proven in court. So we don’t need to put up with this crap anymore.

If your band has signed it and been ordered to shell out £50 – £100 under the cancellation clause, you’re entitled to a full refund as the cancellation clause pre January 16th 2012 is not legally enforceable.

JOIN EQUITY PERFORMERS UNION. GET ADVICE. KNOW YOUR RIGHTS!

You can catch up with the legal particulars of this case in Equity Union Magazine, Spring Edition…out real soooooon!!!!

The geology graduate, Cait Reily who has been signing on whilst job hunting for work in the museum sector, was ordered to accept a two-week placement at Poundland or lose her benefits.

A UK Department for Work and Pensions spokesperson said that it was “simply absurd to suggest that we should not be providing this support and effectively leaving people at home doing nothing.”

However,  Reily was ALREADY volunteering at a museum, and had been doing so since she left Birmingham University.

Her solictitor is now claiming the “forced labour” is in breach of the European Convention on Human Rights.

Through her lawyers she is challenging Government regulations which aim to help people get off benefits and back into the workforce.  The regulations can require long-term unemployed people to undertake up to six months of unpaid work.

Miss Reilly believes the scheme is a form of manual labour and the Government is forcing people to do jobs that are in no way related to what they want to do, giving them no experience for their careers.

LB commends Cait for standing up to the government’s completely unreasonable scheme, which stands to serve nobody but multi-national business’s purposes (as usual).

Rose Mouton, La Bouche Zine

“As somebody who voted for Lib Dems in the last general election, I am writing to you in the hope that you will not vote for time limtiting ESA to just one year in the coming welfare reform bill Report Stage and Third Reading. This could put people who are already suffering immensely in an absolutely unbearable and inhumane situation.

-700,000 people with serious illnesses and impairments will be affected by this policy, many losing any right to an independent income. http://www.dwp.gov.uk/docs/esa-time-limit-wr2011-ia.pdf

-The means test is set at just £7,500 per year, meaning that a partner must support an unwell or disabled loved one if they earn more than this.

-Families already overwhelmingly living in poverty will lose £4661 per year. This is three times as much as higher rate taxpayers will lose in child benefit.

-This policy only affects working families and savers as it only applies to those who have contributed NI or have savings over £6000.

-It is a disincentive to work and will only encourage families to break down http://www.dwp.gov.uk/docs/esa-time-limit-wr2011-ia.pdf

-The only justification ministers have given for this policy is that “We can’t afford it” Sick and disabled people with limited capability for work are conflated with jobseekers as ministers claim ESA must be brought into line with JSA

-Ministers admit that 94% of those affected will not have found work by the end of the year. They also insist that it is irrelevant whether or not they have recovered. http://www.dwp.gov.uk/docs/esa-time-limit-wr2011-ia.pdf

-People with serious, lifelong, and degenerative conditions will all be affected by this. People with MS, Cancer, Parkinsons, Bowel Disease, Kidney Failure, Heart Disease, Lung Disease, Schizophrenia, Bi-Polar and many many more conditions will lose benefits, left in limbo until they are judged unable to do any kind of work at all,. http://www.publications.parliament.uk/pa/cm201012/cmselect/cmworpen/1015/1015vw44.htm

At your annual conference this year, Liberal Democrat members voted overwhelmingly to oppose an “arbitrary time limit” on ESA. http://carons-musings.blogspot.com/2011/09/please-support-glasgow-norths-brilliant.html Please, please, stand by the wishes of your grassroots and of your party and oppose this cruellest of measures.

We are relying on you to help us. Only Liberal Democrat peers can provide a majority and ensure that a one year time limit on sickness benefits is not made law. Please, you promised to protect the most vulnerable and if ever a policy hit the most vulnerable the hardest, then it is time limiting ESA.

Many thanks,

We bagged a rare interview with Elena Poulou, The Fall’s very cool Keyboard player and front man n music n culture icon Mark E. Smith’s wife. Here we learn a bit about life in one of the most important bands of our time and a whole heap of intriguing sounds we can’t wait to check out!

The Fall are very famous for changing band members – How do they get recruited? Do you place an ad?
No, the Fall have never done that. Mark tends to hire off the streets and has never held many auditions.

Who’s been the most memorable member/left the biggest impact on the band musically?
Definitely new member – guitarist Peter Greenway. He understands Rockabilly and modern electronic sounds.

What’s the best thing about being in The Fall?
Everything! Playing music is the best thing because I love it. Also playing live, it’s great to go to places like Serbia!

Do you think music is important in spearheading social change?
Yes definitely! Especially listening to the lyrics and music you may form new ideas or find that it corresponds with what you’re already thinking – and people living all over the world in many different circumstances can find
something they can relate to in it.

The Fall were big in the 80s. Was it difficult do something radical and alternative when the political/social mood of the country was drifting in the opposite direction?
The Fall weren’t really recognised until the late 80s. The Fall is an autonomous group.

What do you think makes your band mate and husband Mark E Smith one of the most influential figures in punk?
We do not recognize the term “punk”.

How did you meet each other?
We were working together in Berlin and that’s how we met. Fourteen years ago. We have been married for nine years and are very happy

What kind of music do you like?
Well that’s a hard question AS I like many different types of music, from the 20s and 30s I like Yiorgo Batis, Antonis Dalgas and Iannis Ioannidis, from the fifties I like Bo Diddley, Link Wray, All Sun Records artists, Hasil Adkins, Country Music. From the 60s I like garage bands and many German Groups, from the 70s I like E.G. The Ramones and some disco stuff. From the 80s I like Daf, Der Plan, Hip Hop, from the 90s electronic music like stuff from Irdial records and all sorts of Techno and Dancehall and Neo=Garage music like the Gories.

Is there anything out at the moment that you can identify with?
Yeah Kook Keith, Major Lazer, Errorsmith, Anorimoi. Also Doc Schoko and The Schmocks from Berlin. LB!

'the dark times (black monday)', acrylic and mixed media on paper, 2008

Paul Sakoilsky: A New Year’s Message from the dark times

- at a time of bankers
to exercise a little charity;
at a time of soldiers
to cultivate small gardens;
at a time of categorical imperatives
to guess about clouds;
at a time of politicians
to trust only to children and demigods.

(George Barker, from Anno Domini, 1983)[1]

La Bouche: So, what exactly is the dark times?

A multi-mediated ‘art’ project, an aesthetico-theoretical, political, (with a small ‘p’) conceit, and most of all, a way of being, seeing, making, doing – and let me just add the obvious, without darkness, no perception of light; and the fact evident to anyone with any knowledge of the work, there is always the ever needed, ever present sense of humour, of laughter.

It started simply enough: whilst painting a canvas for the first time in many years, in an absolutely freezing apartment/come-studio in Deptford, I was using one of those shitty free London tabloid papers to clean my palette knife/brush and started doodling, and then wrote on it, the dark times: London’s only truly independent newspaper. I believe this was at the end of 2006? But the project had it’s first full blown realisation at the ‘Climate of Change’ exhibition in Union Street[2] in 2007, where as artist-in-residence and building security (along my Staffordshire terrier), I set up the first dark times: press office.

At it’s centre stands an ongoing series of hundreds of over-painted and collaged tabloid newspapers from 2006 onwards. Since then, there have been various installations and ‘press offices’, performances, objects, paintings and dialogues in UK and Europe, as well as a curatorial extension which included the first ‘dark times: newspaper’ in F-ish Gallery, Sussex, England. This included, both in the show and publication, emerging and established artists whose work fitted the overall schemata. The project continues to expand (as with the ‘blow-up’ series, where, taking an original dark times ‘paper’, I blow it up as a large scale painting. There are also offshoots such as ‘My Hole’ and ‘the bright times’ series.

There is, of course, a myth going around that the dark times is a newspaper – a publication. I admit having had a hand in this, having styled myself from the start as Editor of the dark times. Often asked, as here, “what are the dark times?” I generally raise my arms, look around, and say, well, isn’t it obvious? I edit this. On the other hand, to make things ‘simpler’, there will be further publications – in 2012, finally a new dark times newspaper, which will then be put out online, as well as a limited edition box-set including both the publication and a set artists’ prints. I am also currently at work on other series/projects and painting a great deal, all of which, inevitably in one way or another, intersect in some way with the dark times. I even considered killing off the dark times awhile back, but then, in such times as we’re in now… and as a friend pointed out, who was very much in the majority camp, of you can’t do that, “you can’t kill off an idea”.

'Whole Nation Put on Suicide Watch', print editions, various formats, 2010

La Bouche: Are we living in dark times?

“Paul Sakoilsky has made performances and paintings as hybridised ‘autopsies’ of media images, in visceral terms, that act upon the daylight utopias of consumerism and media ideology. His ongoing project the dark times is a newspaper in the potlatch spirit, described in the terms of Jean Baudrillard’s concept of hegemony, as an ultimate debasement of value.”
Text for ‘SuperHybrid’, Peter Lewis, 2011

I am not entirely certain about Pete’s point about ‘ultimate debasement of value’. As an artist, a human being, living in these times, a certain ambivalence, in the midst of all things, is perfectly viable. Peter Lewis put me onto The Agony of Power[3], and as far as I’m concerned, to really even begin answering the above question, ‘are these the dark times?’ this illuminating and deeply troubling book must be read and answered in some way.

Perhaps an unfashionable notion, but it sometimes seems, and in part due to the plethora, as we sift through the constant and continuous bombardment of virtual information, (or does it ‘sift’ us?), “the tyranny of forced exchange” (Baudrillard), that we are suffering not so much from an excess of historical knowledge as such, but instead from a curious and debilitating historical forgetfulness – a forgetfulness that the current British government’s attack on the Humanities in education perpetuates. Is there a conspiracy at work there? – beyond and above the mantra of ‘cuts…’ – i.e. “the last thing we need right now are educated ‘Proles’”, (apologies to some readers, but one might slip in the ‘middle class’ here now, re. what is happening in the USA and beyond). Or, is it simply that in such dark times, there exists “a general disposition among people to delegate their sovereignty to the most inoffensive, least imaginative of their fellow citizens, a malin genie that pushes people to elect the most nearsighted corrupt person out of a secret delight in seeing the stupidity and corruption of those in power. Especially in times of trouble, people will vote massively for the candidate who does not ask them to think. It is a silent conjuration analogous in the political sphere to the conspiracy of art in another domain… We should abandon the democratic illusion of imagination or intelligence in power that comes from the depths of Enlightenment ideology…” [Baudrillard, ibid].

As I replied in 2008 to Mike Watson in our dialogue for ‘the dark times: newspaper≠1’[4], whatever gave us the trumped up notion of homeostasis? – that the ‘good times’, if that is indeed what they were, of recent times, were set in stone, bound to last? Another deeper question emerges, one of millennialism: is there something, a psychic sickness (and not merely in the Western mindset), that wills its own demise? Think here of the Judeo-Christian, (and indeed Islamic) historical telos of the Day of Judgement – this was a historical schemata that ruled ‘our’ way of thinking for centuries, and still continues in varied forms. A kind of death-drive? One only needs to think of the new age mythos concerning 2012! If we are going to play on, to think in theological/occult concepts, I am more inclined to a Blakean and perhaps even Nietzchean standpoint. How about a view that would have it that the Day of Judgement (Heaven, Purgatory and Hell) is ever present, in each and every moment…which at least seems a healthier way of looking at such notions, as at it least leaves us with the possibility of positive change… and, strange as it might seem to some, I do see the seeds of positive change.

Let’s ask again, ‘are we living in the dark times?’ Now, as far as I see (thank god), there are no bombs dropping on London at this moment – we are not living through the Blitz, through WW2, even if governments in our name are at present bombing, or supplying the rationale and equipment to bomb and kill innocent people in the name of ‘democracy’ – a thin veneer for a Realpolitik: a battle waged over resources, oil, raw materials, power blocks and the like, surely, and not much more? We now live in the hyper-realised space of deregulated virtual/real global exchange, something that has never existed before, and in a world where small minded, successive governments and power brokers have given the banking sector, now turned ‘financial terrorists’, free reign to basically rule the world without checks (to the point where a new political term has slipped into public usage, almost without any questioning around what this actually implies – ‘market democracy’)… BUT I am NOT a politician, not an economist, merely a human being who happens to make art in such a world, an antennae of sorts (as are we all).

The dystopias described by Philip K Dick, J.G Ballard[5], Foucault and by Habermas and Adorno in The Dialectic of Enlightenment, for example, which once seemed brilliant but somewhat hyperbolic, start to take on a frightening reality, vis-à-vis our reality. Then again, what exactly is our Reality? And of course one could go on ad nauseum re. the ‘darkness’, but it is also important to bear in mind, that without certain betterments in our general situations, we would not even be in a position to recognise the deficits. Let me just say there are also ‘bright times’: interpersonal relations with great people, art, ideas, discoveries, discourses, and healthy disrespect and rebellion: individuality and idiosyncracy. There is still goodness in the world, and goodness, what I would like to call common decency, minima moralia, must be fought for, sometimes by tooth and claw. And vis-à-vis ‘art’, to end on a somewhat more positive note, “in spite of all globalisations, there will be a sudden big bang, and there will be new developments in art that turn everything inside out and create something new”[6].

'the dark times (Squat the Planet)', acrylic on paper, 2008

We love ‘the dark times (Squat the Planet)’, was this made for the Occupy movement?

No, it was actually made sometime before this whole thing started in early 2008, in the dark times: press office≠2 at the Climate 4 Change, a show that Mark Hammond and I organised in the squatted, ex-Alan day Mercedes Dealership (where I was living at the time) opposite Camden Arts Centre in North London. This particular work is in the collection of Gavin Turk who to date has the largest collection of dark times works.

'the dark times (rift threatens)', acrylic and mixed media on photoboard, 2010

La Bouche: What do you think ‘the dark times’ headlines will scream in 2012?
Firstly, I should point out that I no longer make the ‘papers’ and ‘headlines’ on a daily basis as I once did. For the most part, in recent times, I have found myself painting, trying to fathom out what the hell that strange practise is all about, writing, and of course, being part of the RED Gallery in Shoreditch, where I am artist in residence. As regards the dark times headlines for 2012? Sadly, I imagine much of the same, perhaps worse, though one might perhaps see some ‘bright times’ emerging amongst it all. Also, never underestimate the power of mediated-fear and, one must abso-fucking-lutely never underestimate this, I see brighter, more interesting times in terms of interpersonal relations with friends, colleagues, art, discourse, and the world itself. For instance, there is of course the Occupy Movement and related debates/activism as an international phenomena. Whereas I may not agree with some sentiments put forward, for example, I believe, (and this is far too complex an argument to go into here, and one I am grappling with myself), that the usual/historico-political binaries won’t save us – we need something new. Perhaps, we might see the seeds of a certain ‘reflexive-modernity’ taking shape, to use Ulrich Beck’s term[7], which is to say, as with the issue of Climate Change, where even some big business/corporate and governmental interests are coming round to the idea that change is essential, even if only to keep up their profit margins and power – i.e. if the world truly slips into climate chaos and spins out of control, beyond the control of Mankind, then, profits, power, and all the accoutrements of uber-success will mean nothing – as Beck says in the cited book, pollutants are truly international and therefore in a twisted sense, also truly democratic. Perhaps, Capitialism may even itself go through such a change. Rather, it MUST go through some kind of paradigm shift, and/or turn into what? A serious question.

The problem lies with all of those vested interests, those huge and overwhelming power blocks, and ‘blocks’ is an apposite term here. Let me just say, ‘capital’, money, cash, is nothing in and of itself: it is neutral; it is merely a power – it is always what is made or what is done with such Power… how it is managed, that is what counts. For instance, in whose hands it is concentrated? And this is not to say that there are not an awful lot of people, who instead of waking up to ‘a breakfast of champagne and strawberries’, should not instead be banged up in prison. The fact is, governments, especially our so-called democratic governments, are now terrified of their own people, and their paternal and condescending attitude just won’t wash anymore…

‘Democracy’ is a fiction, a concept; for the writer/critic Mike Watson, such constructs can even be seen as functioning as ‘a work of art’ (in the widest sense of the term). I have a saying, apt in this instance, that I made to be inscribed above a pillory: ‘EVERYTHING IS ART, EVERYTHING IS POLITICS: Whether it is Good Governance or Good Art is a Continuous Question.’

I believe ‘democracy’ only exists in the agon, in contestation, or at least, we might say that only up it has existed in this sense up until now. The lie and one of the greatest dangers always arises when one set of people really believe they have THE answer. The free-market liberalist policies of the past thirty years have surely shown themselves to be a sham, a mask, masking the ‘will to power’ of a select few – but it is as much the System itself that is at fault and needs re-evaluating. We need to go back to the reasons of why we construct/allow such systems, such ‘fictions’ to rule in the first place. I think the ancient Greek ideal (disregarding for a moment the historicity of this ideal – the inequalities of the state of Athens for instance) of the ‘Good Life’, and the ideal of the ‘Commonwealth’ need reinvestigating and re-establishing in one form or another as the leitmotif, as the only thematics that might get us out of the shit we are in – and the shit that most of us are going to have to continue to plough through.

But to reiterate, I am just an artist, a writer etc., besides which I have lost my guillotine… MAKE YOUR OWN HEADLINES! As regards the dark times: headlines for 2012, we will all no doubt ‘enjoy’ them in good time.

Love and best wishes for 2012 & of course, for our future,

Paul Sakoilsky
Editor
the dark times
RED Gallery
East London.
2 January 2012

©paul sakoilsky 2012

[1] George Barker, Collected Poems, Faber & Faber, 1987
[2] Dean Kenning, Eco Art: Art Energy in the Age of Ecology, Art Monthly, February 2008; Mike Watson, Paul Sakoilsky: Are these the Dark Times? Art in the Age of Media Panic, artapartofourculture.net, April 2009
[3] Jean Baudrillard, The Agony of Power, SemioText, 2010 (published posthumously)
[4]the dark times: newspaper≠1 2008; online text
[5] read J.G. Ballard last book, To Kingdom Come, Fourth Estate 2006
[6] Karlheinz Essl in conversations with Hermann Nitsch, NITSCH: Eine Retrospective, Edition Sammlung Essl, Wien, 2003]
[7] Ulrich Beck, Risk Society: Towards a New Modernity, Sage Publications 1992

It is easy to see why these biblical extravaganzas have been dubbed as such. Firstly, they are as dramatic as they come and are practically exploding with anger, grief, terror, love, evil and glory. Visually, they have a wild 3D depth (e.g the infinite optical vanishing point of the tables and chambers in Belshazzar’s Feast) and are impeccably detailed, although in LB’s humble opinion some figures are a little clunky.

We were basically unsurprised to learn that they have served as the inspiration behind many Hollywood epics such as Lord of the Rings and Ben Hurr.

For La Bouche, we were most drawn to Martin’s vision of Judgement Day, depicted in three huge paintings, whereby life on earth terminates and the sinners plummet into the fires of hell whilst the good guys are rescued by God and float off into heaven. NB: Unfortunately the images are too small to see the figures of the damned and the saved in detail.

To Hell with ya

‘The Last Judgement Triplych’ also really struck us  as it echoed our thoughts expressed our Xmas/New Year’s post where we reflected on how the church has this year had to face up to the immoralities of a world controlled by a corrupted banking system. For who should be clawing the crevices on the way down to hades? Well, asides from the Whore of Babylon, among the world’s ultimate sinners were greedy money lenders clutching their riches as they fell.

Heaven

Meanwhile, as the naughty ones plummeted under a blood-red moon, off to paradise glided the artists and writers of the world, including Wills (Shakespeare) in his little ruff. La Bouche is really feeling the Age of Aquarius, as you know, however, if this year truly is about the end of mortality then we are not entirely averse to such a turn out of events. LB!

Happy belated Christmas. This year we had an unexpected present:
Xmas sales of celebrity biographies down 60 per cent with quirky independent books (such as Mark Forsyth’s The Epyologicon’)and system-sceptic ’10 things they didn’t tell you about Capitalism,’ soaring ahead in the best-seller charts. This info, along with reports that both mainstream paper sales and X-factor viewings are down leads us to that exciting feeling that people may be thinking again. In the words of our friends’  Bryn Phillips and the Big Society  ‘I feel the sudden turn of the wheel’…

In other Xmas news…

La Bouche popped into Midnight Mass at Southwark Cathedral for a (admittedly drunken) wail where we became deeply moved by the Bishop’s sermon, where he too talked about 2011 being a marked year of change, especially for the church. In a possible nod to the Occupy movement he talked of how the clergy had begun to seriously question the morality of the banking sytem, along with the media and the mainstream press. He talked of how the churches had this year united to protect those affected by the coalition’s brutal cuts, the 35,000 adults and children now sleeping on the streets of Britain. He talked of how this will only worsen in the coming year with more benefits to be capped, how ‘society’s safety net now has holes in it.’

Indeed, The House of Lords is currently reviewing the Welfare Reform Bill. It targets the most vulnerable people in our society. The bill could save the government £1 billion over five years whilst he human cost will be immeasurable. If they targetted super-rich tax dodgers they could save £125 billion in the same period. You can sign a petition to stop this, if you wish.

2012, The Age of Aquarius

Although the above is bleak, there is perhaps no need to brace yourself for the armageddon we have been led to believe is thundering neigh.  Druids and Pagans are actually reportedly very excited about the coming year.

It has been said for some time that we are sifting into the The Age of Aquarius in the cycle of astrological ages. Each astrological age is approximately 2,150 years long, the average time it takes for the Vernal Equinox to move from one constellation of the zodiac into the next and thus we have been locked in dark Piscian times for yonks. The Aquarius traditionally “rules” electricity, computers, flight, democracy, freedom, humanitarianism, idealists, modernization, astrology, nervous disorders, rebels and rebellion. Other keywords and ideas believed associated with Aquarius are nonconformity, philanthropy, veracity, perseverance, humanity and irresolution. So, asides from the ‘nervous disorders’ it’s all sounding good! Some astrologers believe that the influence of a New Age is experienced before it arrives because of a cuspal effect or Orb of Influence.

So there you go, au’revoir Pisces and salut Aquarius. La Bouche would like to wish our friends a very happy new year and leave you with this old’un…

La Bouche has long been a fan of this avant-guarde leotard encased goddess (the artist formerly knows as Jennifer Allen), and shall be snapping up the new merch which also includes a new QC homeopathic perfume range and origami underwear!

Get some ferocity in your life with these QC tees

Quilla is also currently suing Feedme Music booking promoters, for canceling a double booked gig at Punk Soho, in favor of a dry corporate bash. Having already staged a protest gig outside the venue on the date of her original gig causing much embarrassment for the venue, the court date is now set for January 16th and LB shall be there to cover Quilla’s battle.  Being familiar with the music industry, we know this kind of crap happens  all the time to emerging bands causing them much disappointment and inconvenience but our Quills is not one to take these things lying down…   LB

Some news that didn’t make it onto Fox News…

Former US president George Bush and his former counterpart Tony Blair were found guilty of war crimes by the The Kuala Lumpur War Crimes Tribunal which held a four day hearing in the Malaysia.

The five panel tribunal unanimously decided that Bush and Blair committed genocide and crimes against peace and humanity when they invaded Iraq in 2003 in blatant violation of international law. According to International Law expert and Prosecutor Francis Boyle (as in the above clip) these are the same crimes the Nazis were found guilty of.

Lawyers and human rights activists present said the verdict by the tribunal is a landmark decision. And the Kuala Lumpur War Crimes Foundation said it would lobby the International Criminal Court to charge former US president George Bush and Former British prime minister Tony Blair for war crimes.

Micalef at our 'Britain's Rubbish' party, thrown with Decima Gallery

The Day Debt was Abolished

Like the Mexican day of the
Dead everybody got drunk on
Debt – it was the party of
Debt – all the debts were piled
on the bonfire – ‘n’ blown
up in rockets – ‘n’ fireworks
All the debts in the world were
written off – the ‘ole
concept of debt was abolished
Debt became reversed, debt
became national profit -
We were all suddenly, rich
Again – the opposite of a normal
Drunken night out -  we awoke
Not with a hangover ‘n’ empty
pockets – our pockets were
full again – all the debts in the
world’s banks – by
Agreement became profit
‘N’ everybody can live again
In a stress-free, ideal world
Capitalism reversed
Humanity Won

- Micalef